Why are women (and in some cases, men) jealous creatures? Sometimes it’s a win-lose situation. Win because it feels great when someone is so afraid to lose you. Lose because it can get suffocating after awhile.

But before we get irritated, we better understand first the kind of emotional turmoil that they are going through. It’s not easy being a girl. Well, that’s what they say and let’s enumerate some of the reasons why:

– About being afraid to lose us

There is always that fear lurking at the back of their heads that they would lose their boyfriends. Is there a competition going on that we are not aware of? No, some girls enjoy having a boyfriend in a way that they would like be with the guy 24/7. They like getting into activities with the boyfriend. They like going out with friends, family, relatives, co-workers and even total strangers like in a conference with a boyfriend. It’s like remove the boyfriend from all the appointments and they feel like they lost a boyfriend. Please! Not seeing each other for 12 hours meant nothing lost. You’re still separate individuals with your own set of appointments that are separate from the relationship. Some of those appointments might have been there already long before you got into a relationship. What’s there to be afraid of if you got part of your life mapped out? And even more, what’s there to lose when even if you’re already a couple, you still lead normal lives

Not seeing the boyfriend meant that he is already flirting with someone else. It doesn’t always mean that way. If you as a girl feel threatened about losing your boyfriend, it only shows your insecurities. And this brings us to the next pointer.

– About your insecurities

Girls and women will always have insecurities about themselves even outside a relationship. What more if they get into a relationship? The fact that sex and children are no longer guarantees of a long-lasting relationship only aggravates the insecurity more. But much of that mindset is self-imposed.

– About change in behavior

Some men get a haircut, a new cologne and perhaps a new set of clothes to wear for the next few days and instead of being happy for the positive change, some women go “You hate it whenever I ask you to change your bacon briefs because you refuse to do so and now you went into a major overhaul. Who is she?” What?!?!?!?!?! Is that what it’s all about? Can’t it just be that I need to change the way I look because I need to look professional? And do you really have to mention how crinkly and crumply my briefs have gotten?

– About what men do or did

Rumor has it that women’s favorite subject in school is history because they like bringing it up in relationships. I am not referring to history taught in schools but how history is used to remind students that whoever does not learn in history are bound to repeat it. Okay, I get the gist. But how will men learn the lesson gradually if every time they commit mistakes, the girlfriend or the wife will keep bringing it up in an effort to justify the jealousy and paranoia? Some women only hear what they want to hear, not the truth.

Women (and in some cases, men) please? If you keep punishing your loved one due to a mistake they have done in the past, you are pushing them away. Trust is broken. I get that. But if you keep claiming that you’re hurt and heartbroken from something that already happened years ago, instead of hurting only yourself, you end up hurting the one you love too.

– About comparing yourself to practically any person your guy gets in contact with

You are not as bad as you think you are. But you keep feeding your brain negative thoughts. How can you be so in love with someone so bad when you don’t even love yourself? If you have forgotten about why you became in a couple before, then you need to remind yourself that among all the possible better partners for him (or her, in some cases), you got chosen. Start all ideas from there and there would be less insecurities for you to worry about.

Feeling better? You better be. Nobody wants to live 24/7 wallowing in jealousy. Imagine the energy wasted on paranoia and hissy fits because you let your jealousy overcome you and define you. If you can’t trust your partner enough, maybe you can’t love your partner enough. I hope to share some insight there. To keep yourself updated with my thoughts and upcoming projects, please like my official Facebook page, Kuya Manzano FanClub, and follow me on Twitter @kuyamanzano.